Battles of a Lemon

Making me squirm as your juices river down my throat.

Our reactions give you reason to gloat.

You win every time when I try to keep my face straight.

Your juicy goodness always seems to be used as bait.

Its not fair that your bigger than a lime.

And compared to an orange, you are a dime.

Continually added to create an extra flavor.

But not too much, just a cutoff sliver.

I squeeze your wedge and mouth-watering fluids shoot like a cannon.

One to be feared and to be loved, the glorious lemon.

Stay out of the Kitchen

I feel it creepin’ as it moistens my skin.

Back when Winter blew it contined to be thin.

But now so thick I could punch through this plaster.

As the days grow longer it only gets faster.

Like beads of dew off my hair when i rise in the morning.

The man on T.V. gave me an impartial warning.

The moon chills while his brother blazes.

We can’t help but go through these phases.

It’s just something that can’t be beat.

I’m dying here, alone in the heat.

Just Lettin’ ya know

I want you to Auscultate cause this is Esoteric for that one family

Im trying to oppugn against those who are killjoys

Cause they dont realize that their guidelines are superfluous

It seems the whole house has turned to a Gerrymandering

Its Apodictic that there is no Ahimsa

One day i will Sternutate on your Glyptograph

And their specter will be in an amok sennight after sennight

The better stop to bloviate before i defenestrate and hear that gardyloo

Let them have a trichotillomania  and have some sort of zoolatry

They’ll be changin their balbriggan with their constant bruxism

Ill make life one giant haboob

Its Facinorous how im endergonic

Lookin like a Telamon on a tor where I got everything I require

From my costermonger to a man with his didgeridoo

And of course the one who gives me a kef

Cause we are both mooncalfs forever in a undulation

The one who I was able to inveigle

And when together our hearts are infrangible

I do not Floccinaucinihilipilificate this writing

Here’s a story for Thaumatologists

The Outside of the Middle

    I was only a senior awaiting the final date of my high school career. I’m already accepted into college and cruise control has taken over. I find myself a philosopher and I feel that I know what I’m talking about in high school. I try to lead a simple life but it’s the people that mess it up. I have a girlfriend and her name is Katie. She’s a little shorter than me, real cute, and I just love to be with her. The only flaw is that she’s a junior. How could I possibly go out with a junior, right? It shouldn’t be weird. My parents are five years apart and we’re only eight months. But once you’re labeled, others feel you can’t go out of your own labeling, otherwise you get dirty looks and your friends feel the need to stay away from your significant other.
    So there’s my first philosophical rant and it won’t be the last. But the true story is about two of Katie’s friends, Melissa and Sadie. They were the best of friends but in a non-stop argument. Melissa was more of a leader to Sadie. Leader meaning boss. They were both juniors as well and, being a good boyfriend, I tried my best to get along with them considering they both sat by me in Pre-Calculus. It was hard with my sarcasm. They rarely understood me and when they did they thought I was making fun of them. Katie and I would always sit with each other during our free mods and Melissa and Sadie would turn jealous.
    Melissa would toy with Katie, “So, Katie, we have an open chair over here if you wanna come by us.” She would stare at her with a giant smile. She also felt that I didn’t know what I was doing with Katie, therefore she would not sit by me, which actually forced Sadie to keep away.
    Katie would glare back at her and then realize that everyone at the table was giving her the same glare. “No thanks,” she replied politely, “I’m fine right here.”
    Melissa would roll her eyes and turn away in disgust. This routine would continue for weeks and eventually she lightened up to me and would sit at the same table and even make conversation with me. Our relationship as friends was actually starting to grow. But she was never satisfied with herself and, for some reason, always kept pushing her friends away. But everyone knew she wanted those friends, she just wanted to be the boss.
    Katie and I would still sit by ourselves most of the time and as much as we could. But Melissa would still not approve. Sadie was okay with it but still wanted more time with Katie. They both felt that I was taking Katie away from them. But we had our reasons.
    The big event came one day with me, Katie and Melissa. What started out as a nice day became a disaster. With Katie and Melissa’s science project deadline coming up, Melissa wanted Katie to work with her…alone.
    Katie started, “Do you think you could come over some time this weekend to work on the project?”
    Melissa replied, “Well, we could probably get it done if you didn’t spend all your time with this kid.” She pointed to me.
    “Melissa I don’t wanna hear it anymore.”
    “What? You never sit with me anymore. What do you want me to do?”
    “I want you to drop it!”
    “Why should I drop it when I’m losing my friend?”
    “You’re not losing me! I’m still here!”
    “No! Ever since you’ve been going out with him, you’ve been-”
    “Stop! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Katie packed her stuff and stormed off.
I was debating on whether to follow her, to comfort her, but I wanted to get inside Melissa’s head more. There was a dead pause between us across the table for a good thirty seconds.
    I started, “What’s all this about?”
    “Nothing, don’t worry about it.”
    “Do you honestly think I’m not gonna worry about it?”
    Melissa sighed and continued, “It’s just that…she never hangs out with us anymore. It’s not fair to me and Sadie.”
    I was thinking of telling her that life isn’t fair but I figured it wouldn’t be appropriate, “So, you think that I’m taking her away from you?”
    “Yeah, before she had you, she was always with us.”
    “But do you understand why she’s being with me a lot?” Melissa kept her head down and lightly shook it. “It’s because I’m a senior. I know it’s a long year but in reality she doesn’t have a lot of time with me. And we want to make the most of it.”
    “So, do you just want me to let her go for a year and then you both expect me and Sadie to just take her back without even a thought?”
    “That’s one option if you choose to take it. But have you ever even once thought of hanging out with us. I would gladly do it and I would gladly let you go off with her.” Melissa had nothing to say to that, and I felt that I was winning my side. “I understand where you are coming from and I can understand where me and Katie are coming from. You just need to understand what high school is. I mean stuff happens. You gotta learn to live with it. I’m not trying to be mean to you but being a high schooler is not what you think it is. It’s being a sixth grader and senior in college. You have to live it up and have fun as much as possible but you also have to be mature as a college student and learn that life has only started and why ruin it now? If you try to hard to become your perspective of a high schooler you will end up alone living in one big act.” I think I got my point across to her by seeing her head come up and giving me a faint smile with watery eyes.
    “Thanks for talking to me. I can understand where you two are coming from. But promise me you’ll try and give me and Sadie more time with her.”
    “I promise you will.”
    “Okay.” She smiled nicely at me. From then I knew me and Melissa would be well off. “I still don’t think you’re worth it,” she replied as a smart alac comment.
    I sarcastically replied, “I totally agree,” as I started to get up and leave, “I’ll see ya in math class. I gotta find Katie.” I walked out and thought about where she may be. But the bell rang and the mod was over. I had class and had no time to find her. I thought about Katie and how angry she would be at Melissa for bringing up that conversation, especially around me. I didn’t see her for the rest of the day and the only time to talk to her was at night on the phone. I couldn’t wait but I wasn’t sure what to say. The day went by and I sat in my bed with my phone in my hands. It was 9:19. I speed-dialed her phone and awaited the answer.
    “Hi.”
    “Hey. Are you alright?”
    “Yeah. I’m fine.”
    “I know that means you’re not fine but whatever. Do you want to talk about Melissa?”
    “Not really.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because what she did was totally inappropriate and I’m not talking to her until I get an apology.”
    “Alright. But I talked to her and-”
    “So what, she needs to face me and talk to me, not you. Just do me a favor and don’t get involved.”
    “I already am involved and this concerns me.”
    “Not anymore. If she has a problem she can come to me. Promise me you won’t get involved.”
    I had no choice, “I promise.”
    “And don’t tell her I told you that, just say that she needs to face me.”
    “Sounds good.” I didn’t actually think it was good considering I thought I would be able to fix it.
    “Thank you. I gotta finish my homework. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good night.”
   She hung out quickly. I paused, “Good night.”

The Counter Surprise

    The visitors saw the lights pull into the driveway. They could not be seen. The only sound was the buzzing of the house electronics around. The dark cold night chilled the house. Carl got out of his car and with a hop to his step jogged to the big red front door. His long overcoat was buttoned all the way up and his briefcase seemed to be frozen shut. He jingled his keys to the front door unaware of his unsuspected guests waiting to get him. He quickly opened the door, slammed it shut, and tossed his briefcase on the floor. He clapped on his lights and a fierce “Surprise” exploded throughout the house and rang through his ears. Carl jumped back against the door and covered his face as if Mike Tyson was about to light him up. The room then erupted with laughter at his reaction. Carl smiled and yelled out, “Oh God, I thought I was dead meat!”
    “Happy Birthday Dad!” exclaimed his son Max, as he snapped a party hat on top of his head. He stood there without a shirt with what he calls them his “totally ripped abs” and a pink flowery bathing suit on. Carl smiled and gave him a manly hug. “If only mom were here to see your face.”
            Carl looked puzzled and said, “Where is she?”
            “She told me…to tell you…that your real birthday starts when everyone is out of the house.”
             Carl just stared at Max with jaw half way down for a good ten seconds while Max looked with a smile saying that he knew what was going down tonight. Max broke the silence, “So you want me to get everyone out?”
            “No, not yet she can wait a while…where ever she may be. But why wouldn’t she just come and celebrate with us. I’ll never understand women.” Carl let out a slight sigh of disappointment and continued, “I guess I’ll just celebrate with my friends for now.”
            “Alright have a good one, I’ll be in hot tub with your secretary,” Carl gave him the fatherly look, “uh…discussing business,” Carl with the same glare, “I’m interested in your job, you never know when I may have to step in at the Firm.”
            Carl turned away and started to mingle with his co-workers, fellow YMCA members, and dads of Max’s friends. He tried to stay away from his wife’s yoga club as much as possible. He doesn’t understand why someone needs to bend like that. His boss, big Italian Johnny, with his half glass of scotch, came up and started to talk about work.
            “Carlton! Why didn’t you display any evidence at the Robinson Case today!”
            Carl looked up to him and said, “I’m sorry, sir, I just thought that-”
            Johnny laughed and said, “I’m just pullin’ your tail kiddo. It’s a wonderful party.” Carl nodded and Johnny continued, “Do you remember what I said to you  after your first big case…the one with…uh…Charles…Schniedenwhatever?”
            “Yeah, I remember I lost. I had every piece of evidence and everything seemed to be going my way. I knew I had won going into that last day. I even celebrated with my family. But then they found a blood stain and it was all over,” Carl paused to collect his thoughts, “You said ‘You must learn to follow before you can lead, let this be a lesson to you’. I followed that advice from there after and I started to do more research and work later and I did whatever I could do to win my next case and every one after that.”
            “Yes, precisely, and after five years, I know that you have become a great example for the rest of the men and I would like to make you the Head Attorney.”
Carl looked astonished and couldn’t get his mouth to say anything, so he just hugged him. This wasn’t so manly but Johnny accepted it and said, “I’ll take that as a ‘Yes’ but don’t get so emotional.” as he shook off Carl arms which barely fit around him.
           ”Yes sir, sorry sir, thank you so much for this opportunity, I will not let you down,” as he shook his hand rapidly up and down.
“Well good, that’s what I wanna hear. But it’s one thing to say it. The next two weeks are going to be very busy. You’re gonna have at least three big cases and you need to nail these to show how badly you want this job.”
“Honest sir, I’ll be there. I’ll accept every one and go three for three.”
“Well I certainly hope so. Now if you will please excuse me I see some Pizza Rolls.”
“Alright, thanks again sir, this is the best birthday present ever! I just wish my wife was here to hear it.”
            Johnny turned around and shook a finger at Carl saying, “I don’t know, don’t be so sure, I was talking to Macho Maxy over there and I hear you have quite the present coming your way.”
            Carl blushed and could only imagine. Johnny turned around, raised his glass of scotch and pronounced, “A toast to my new Head Attorney, Carl Wantal!” The room raised their glasses and yelled with excitement. Carl could see his son walking across the Persian rug in his wet trunks and dripping all over the floor. The yoga club seems to be interested in the man but Carl just wanted a towel for him.

            “Dad, I heard the news. That’s great! So do I get a raise on my allowance now?”
            “Of course!”
            “REALLY?”
            “No…you already are taking my secretary…and you’re in college now.”
            “Yeah but I’d rather have the money. And it won’t be long until I’ll be an attorney. I’ve got an A in all my classes and I’ve won all of my situational cases in school.”
            “You know Max, a great man once told me, ‘You must learn to follow before you can lead’.”
            Max replied sarcastically, “Wow, that’s deep. Sounds like some big Italian guy said that.”
            “You know you’d be surprised if just sat back and watched, it’s not as easy as you think, especially when you’re up against a mean judge and ugly attorneys staring you down.”
            “Alright pops, I’ll keep that in mind. But shouldn’t you be gettin’ drunk or something, I mean i’s yo birfday!” Max thought his dad would like his un-whiteman side. 
            “I think your enjoying my birfday too much. And I don’t want you goin’ to anymore campus parties.”
            Max only smiled and walked off not caring about the puddle of water sinking into the carpet. For the rest of the night Carl did have a few drinks and before you knew it he was playing Wii sports in his man yoga pants. Guess where he got them. But he wasn’t drunk. Carl was not the man that got very crazy. He ate some snacks with his co-workers who stayed to around 10:15. After the house was empty of people he needed to clean up the half-filled cups of margarita mix and Diet Pepsi along with the Chex Mix crumbs stomped onto the floor. He walked around to try and find Max and after searching a few rooms decided to look for Victoria, his secretary instead. He went out the back sliding door onto the patio where the hot tub was and saw his son sitting in it. He also then found his secretary and wouldn’t you know it she was hiding under his arm the whole time. “Max, get out of the hot tub. Victoria …I’ll see ya tomorrow.” Carl seemed calm about the issue and didn’t want anything to ruin his day. Victoria got out put some respectable clothes on in front of his boss, gave him a good night hug and drove home. Max got dried off and put some clothes on so he wouldn’t make his dad look so out of shape. They started cleaning the house and filling up all the trash cans in the house so they could be lazy and not go outside and freeze their butt off.
            Max started some conversation, “Do you want me to clean the rest of this up so you can, uh…go see mom.”
            “I don’t even where she is. Is she here?”
            “Oh yeah, I forgot to say, well I didn’t forget, I just wasn’t supposed to tell you, that she’s upstairs in the bedroom. She said she needed to prepare for, well she didn’t say what for but I’m guessing that it’s…none of my business.”
    “Thanks Max. Why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll finish this up tomorrow.”
    “Alright dad. See you in the morn and have a good night.”
    Carl gave him a mysterious smile and started to head for his bedroom upstairs. He walked down the dark hallway to the room at the end which had multi-colored lights coming from underneath the door. He hesitated then opened the door. What he saw was magnificent! Yellow, red and green lights were shining around the room, with a eight foot blow up palm tree in one corner, tiki lamps on the desks and dressers, and there was his wife, Jan, standing in front of the closet with a Hawaiian skirt and tight Hawaiian muscle shirt. The Hawaiian music was softly playing in the back round. Jan started off,                           “So what do you think?”
    “Is this my present?”
    “No, I only wanted you to get used to it.”
    “You mean-”
    “Yes, Carl, you, me and two weeks of Hawaiian relaxation laying on the white beach, staying up late, and doing things unimaginable at this house.”
    Carl’s stomach dropped through the floor and started to force a smile. Yes, of course he would love to go to Hawaii but he couldn’t. “Did you hear I got a promotion at work,” Jan looked very surprised, “I got promoted to Head Attorney.”
    “Carl that’s great! When do you start at your new position?”
    “Monday.”
    Jan looked at him with a blank face and stuttered, “S-so you’re coming to Hawaii with me right?”
    “Jan, I’m sorry.”
    “Look, you can either choose to go to work and be bored all day or come to Hawaii with me and have the best time of your life. And trust me it WILL be amazing.”
    Carl looked away from Jan to think. “Look, I may regret this decision later, but I can’t just give up this job the first day I get it. Johnny is counting on me to win three big cases coming up.” Jan’s eyes started to water. “I’ll always love you and at any other time I wouldn’t even hesitate to go but at this moment I just can’t do it.”
    Jan buried her face in her hands. With all her work she put into this surprise, she couldn’t bare to look at Carl. She then ran into the bathroom and shut the door violently. Carl wasn’t sure if he made the right choice or not. All he knew was that he was going to work on Monday. He sat down on the bed and let a big sigh out, unknowing of what he should do next.

House of One

Strong foundation with truthful morals.

Song passes through like open windows, accepting of rebels.

Unlocked door, visitors hailed.

Cooling awareness, A/C inhaled.

Temper arises, heat intensifies.

Weeper sheltered from downpour.

Chain basement clutches fears and secrets.

Brain attain memories, attic never full.

Laundry and research forever on time.

Dining and gourmet, luscious and proper.

Bed and dreams, wondrous and magical.

And never leaving, not for you.

Living her days, soothe and peace.

Room for love, dispersed and concealed.

Poor George

One is your number

Lonely as it can be

Lost among cargo pockets

Tough to add up to Lincoln, Hamilton, and Jackson

Their bills renewed, yours still dull green

 

Twenty-five, your other

Much higher but, it’s not

Four of your own become yourself

Seem more cherished

Clanging to be recognized

Saved for creation of something greater

 

What to be more proud of?

More for Less or Less for More

Deserted Island

 

Great Willows of our earth, why do you weep?

You shade the weary.

Bring splendor to the land.

Declaring your perimeter.

 

But still you seem gloomy.

Do no nests fit into your droopy grooves?

Do no children sway from your weak branches?

Do you hate being exclaimed a weed,

being measured to a dull dandelion?

 

However still we plant you.

Still enjoy your glossy green leaves.

Still sleep in slippery grass underside.

 

Laying beneath.

Sun rays sneak past defenseless leaves.

To join with us.

Under a bubble of branches and green.

 

But we use you.

No place for your own nature.

To nurture, utilize your own bark.

Unearth nourishment naturally.

 

But I shall be the one.

To leave you on an island.

To watch over the seas.

Then back down on me.

Animation

Little girl being fooled, used like a toy.

Story of her life, toppled by piles of heavy snow.

White spaces fill the thoughts, her importance coming to little.

Mermaid her passion ‘til she fell into the jungle.

Book after book, developing as a fighter, like Peter.

Pan and her Labyrinth taught of truth while she’s sleeping.

Beauty dominates fear, wealthy army, same as the emperor’s.

New groove is better now, senses equal of a bug’s.

Life as she knows, free and strong, feeling like a lion.

King of her own, it’s all we can ask, because life’s like a movie looking into the past.

Thankful

In the name of Father, as the one who helped us into this journey,

The conspirator of life, shows us the way through the tunnel,

The light’s in His hands.

As we follow through the dim, our risks and adventures are shared and protected.

 

Thankful we are and dignity returned.

 

And of the Son, the one who we mirror. Live out the message and voyage on.

The friend by your side to counsel and relieve.

Follow, but learn to lead.

As we go hand in hand, never looking back, together forever and always right.

 

Thankful we are and dignity returned.

 

And of the Holy Spirit. Only alive inside, to be the angel on our shoulder.

Be able to choose among dark and light.

The shadow we seek and the feet we focus.

As we are bonded spiritually, one body, mentally strong, with judgments exact.

 

Thankful we are and dignity returned.

 

God you are our Father of life and prosperity.

Douse us in love and understanding so that we may receive the rightful position next to your throne. Give wisdom to all to judge with our hearts and not with our minds.

 

Thankful we are O God, and dignity returned.